Some people aren’t very good at accepting praise. With a dismissive wave of the hand, they will completely dodge any words of praise. But it’s important to graciously accept praise when it’s given to us. Let’s take a look at why it’s important to accept praise and how to do it graciously.
Discrediting praise is disrespectful to its giver. It’s basically saying, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Having been in that position, I know it’s frustrating when people belittle the good thing about them I am wanting them to recognize.
Giving and receiving thanks is very similar. It’s popular these days to simply say, “No worries.” I know I don’t really like that phrase. Giving someone thanks does not mean that I was worried about what I’m thankful for or even that I should have been worried about it. So, please don’t say, “No worries.” Don’t say, “No problem” either. “I’m glad I could help” is a much more gracious way to accept thanks.
Here’s a really simple yet profound way to accept praise. Consider their words for a brief moment, taking them in. Then just state, “I receive that.” You could throw a “thank you” in there, too, if you feel so moved. (Hopefully, they don’t say “no worries.”) The simple phrase, “I receive that,” acknowledges their words and tells that you really let them in.
Once you’ve received thanks or praise, go ahead and store it in memory for future reference that people appreciate who you are and what you do. Store the details, too:
- “I’m a good friend.”
- “I’m reliable.”
- “I make people feel more at peace.”
I want you to integrate those good things into your self-concept. It’s valid at a minimum because someone else believes it to be true and worth sharing with you. Interestingly, we tend to relate more to people’s negative comments and retain them, compared to how we handle people’s positive comments. This natural tendency makes it all the more important to receive the thanks and praise we get from other people.
Next time someone tells you something good about you, go ahead and receive that praise graciously. And watch for it, too. Perhaps it’s coming to you more frequently than you realize. If you feel you aren’t getting much thanks or praise, consider setting the precedent by giving more praise, yourself. It could help put a new dynamic in motion of increased giving and receiving of thanks and praise.
