Have you ever encountered someone and when you walked away from them, thought, “Wow! that person is really awesome!” Imagine that is you. What would it take for you to be awesome like that?
Have you ever thought about this? How do people experience you? Do they walk away and think, “Wow! She is awesome!” or do they think something else? Are you pretty neutral, and they don’t really think anything at all?
Most people are into themselves. When you meet, they want to share all about them and what’s going on with them. Sometimes they will interrupt you to tell you about them. Other times they will try to one-up you. The irony is that they are trying so hard to appear awesome that you walk away thinking they’re not awesome.
While there can be a lot of nuance to it, there’s one over arching thing that makes you really awesome to be around:
You are more into them than you are into you.
To be awesome, set aside your need to appear awesome. Then listen and ask questions, and share when you relate. Acknowledge the emotional part of the experience they are sharing as well. For example, when they’re done sharing about an experience, say, “Oh yeah. I totally get that. I had something like that and I felt alone, dismissed and discounted. Is that similar to what you experienced?” If you don’t relate, ask more questions about it. Ask how they felt about it. Be engaged. Try to get a sense of what life is like for them.
Then for many people what happens next will be magical. They will visibly relax. They may even sigh in relief. And then they will ask you about you. But even if they don’t, probably they will still walk away and think, “Wow! He is awesome!”