Have you ever had a recurring problem or issue in your life? You think, “this again?” Maybe you’ve moved cities or states (you pulled a “geographic”) and the problem keeps coming back. I know I have. I had conflict at work. I figured it was other people being whacked out, but after it kept coming up with different people in different places, I had to face the reality that maybe it was me – or at least partly me.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe like me, you’ve had recurring conflict. Or maybe it’s something different. Maybe you have repeated financial difficulty, or one medical event after another, or recurring car accidents. Maybe you experience it at a more personal level and you find frequent rejection and abandonment, or you feel like no matter where you go, people don’t hear you, or they don’t value you. Maybe you are continually being taken advantage of.
This list, of course, can’t cover everything. But whatever it is for you, the key thing is that the problem or issue is repetitive. It keeps coming up over and again.
The common denominator is you. Though this might be hard to hear, accepting this puts you in a super empowered place. Even If you are only partly responsible for your recurring theme, you can change it.
And of course, you should be very gentle, gracious, kind and loving toward yourself. If you have a recurring problem you are facing, you are human like everybody else. You don’t need to beat yourself up. Nothing is wrong with you. You are right where you are supposed to be.
What Could be Going On
You might be wondering, “how can I possibly be causing this thing in my life?” I know I wondered that. Here are a few things that might be happening. Maybe you can identify with one of them, or maybe all three of these things are thrashing around like a mosh pit together.
1. You have a wound
It might be possible that you have a wound from your past, and in this wound, you took in a message either spoken or unspoken. The message by the way is a lie, and it might be something like: “You don’t matter. You’re not valuable.” Or the message might be “if you’re seen, you’ll get hurt..” Or yours could be different. Whatever it is for you, you may find yourself bouncing back and forth between accepting the lie and resisting it.
And now you are subconsciously recreating elements from your wounding to work things out. Maybe you’re trying to prove the lie to be false.
2. You have lower self worth
Another thing that could be going on is that your self view or your self worth, doesn’t allow for good things to be in your life. For example, you get a nice paying job, but this doesn’t fit your self view, so you subconsciously find a way to get rid of the job – and your recurring problem is that you frequently find yourself out of work.
Maybe it’s not your job. The idea here, though is that perhaps when you find good things in life, it’s out of your comfort zone, it’s incongruent with your self-image and self-worth, so you subconsciously mess it up. Possibly.
3. You Tell Yourself “Stories”
Perhaps your recurring pattern comes from your personal stories that you tell yourself. Maybe you tell yourself, “Everybody leaves me, and I’m always alone.”, “I will always struggle with my weight”, or “The little man just can’t get ahead.” If you are telling yourself such negative stories, you may find that they become true in your life – not because they are inherently true, but because you unconsciously make them true.
If you want more on this including some suggestions on what to do, you can listen this week’s radio show where we covered this topic in more depth. You can listen here.